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  • Lama Jigme Gyatso

Punctuality, Respect, and Neurosis



Punctuality could be a great way of demonstrating respect; as are all other forms of integrity. For love without respect is but mere sentimentality.

Sadly, punctuality, could also be an effective means of exacerbating our controlling tendencies, neurosis, and self loathing; for we are not ALL-beings (masters of time, space, and dimension) and life is far too complex (with too many moving parts) to ensure that everything can always work out exactly as we plan.

What then are we to do? How could we live our lives in such a way as to lavish our loved ones with the respect they so richly deserve when we have oh so very little control of all life's variables? Behold the power of apology: sincere, well-worded, and vulnerable. Remember; an apology offered from a place of self-protection, defensiveness, and smarminess utterly fails to heal. A true apology, an effective apology, is vulnerable, humorously self-effacing, and motivated exclusively by the desire to make the wronged party feel better.

But so what if we're late, or break our word (given overtly or inferentially)? Why should we give a flying fuck if others are not overjoyed by the lack of respect we've shown them? Evolution! As healthy mammals (no less primates) humans have evolved to empathize. We value compassion as if our lives depended upon cooperation (for they most certainly do).

No, we can not do all things perfectly, all the time. And there is no way to always be as considerate as we would like to be. But as kind hearted folk, we can do our best, and when that is not good enough we can apologize and be nurturing and be respectful. And if that is still not good enough for the folks in our life... then fuck 'em! (Yep, I think Jesus said that.)



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