When I was a child:
abused, and frightened
and rather angry;
I learned
that if I played the role
of the beat puppy,
really leaning into
those tendencies
already present
I could manipulate
some authority figures
into being less cruel
some of the time.
I was not the only child
who learned this lesson.
And I was not the only child
who needed to unlearn it
as well.
Could this be
why many of us,
as adults,
seem to act
as if we only had two modes:
cowardice or hubris?
Ask a parent
and they will tell you
that children are born
into their selfish brain-stems
but have to develop
into the empathetic
and cooperative mid-brains;
and some never do.
The desire to manipulate others
to provide for ourselves,
no less protect ourselves,
is undoubtedly infantile.
And it can work,
to a certain degree,
in the short term.
But it is most certainly
NOT sustainable.
Just as it is unseemly
to soil ourselves as adults
it is likewise
no longer appropriate
to strive manipulate others
to protect our vulnerabilities
or meet our needs,
no less desires.
The path to maturity spans
from the fear and competition
of the brain-stem
to the empathy and cooperation
of the mid-brain.
According to this metric
the MOST mature of us
are sometimes called,
“Sage, or Buddha, or Mensch.”
The latter is especially true
if you, like me
are no stranger to a bagel.
Do you want
to become a happy,
well-adjusted adult?
Then forsake the means
of manipulating others
to protect yourself,
no less receive what you desire.
We must exercise the
honesty and courage
to simply request what we desire
and we must also cultivate
the wisdom of release
that is surrendered to the idea
that you can’t always get
what you want.
Just as Jagger and the Stones
sang about
in the song of the same name.
Let us conclude
with a simple
call to action
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