Not all psychiatrists or self-help authors are created equal. Some exploit the anxiety and trauma of some, to milk them dry. Others may mean well but are more influenced by philosophy than science and wind-up doing more harm than good.
It is more effective to describe the experience of the present moment than to limit oneself through the use of disempowering labels such as: Traumatized, Love-addicted, and Paranoid. Yes you may have endured trauma, sometimes you may act as if you’re clingy, and you may occasionally feel frightened. But labeling ourselves generates an illusion of solidity, when your perception of the past and present, no less your anticipation of the future, is best experienced as fluid and ever-changing.
Affirmations feed the rigidity and controlling tendencies that exacerbate your fearful and clingy impulses. And actively invoking emotions of abandonment and fear clearly will never be as effective as allowing those feelings to come up in THEIR own, good time.
Set aside your controlling tendencies. When you sit in meditation your autonomic nervous system is your best friend. Mentally recite “Notice this…” during each IN-breath for your sympathetic nervous system has evolved to NOTICE: vulnerably, passively, and spontaneously. Silently recite “relaxing!” during each OUT-breath, as
your parasympathetic nervous system is wired to support your physical relaxation and mental release.
Although you cannot BELIEVE your way out of fear and clinginess, you can observe and relax your way to the peace, resilience, and resourcefulness of a Jedi. _/\_
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